- git
I am not a morning person. I have to wack on GMTV for at least half an hour to summon the strength (via increasing rage at Andrew ‘Patronising Git’ Castle) to get up and throw on some clothes, and whole commutes to work can pass in a forgettable daze, only punctuated by yet more rage, this time directed at some innocent dolt who is slow at getting off the tube at Oxford Circus.
I have recently had to put in eyedrops first thing, which I think is half the ‘tane and half the dazzling yellow and red of GMTV, but in either way is not conducive to my morning joie de vive. This sucks further because it is a general indicator that I can’t wear contact lenses every day without suffering a 4pm eye/headache crash and am accruing a small expensive mountain of lenses in my bathroom as a result.
But I digress. Today, in a forgettable fug, I concocted my usual breakfast cuisine of ‘half toasted bagel with marmite’; a classic dish caused by our toaster being semi broken, but this being a fact of huge importance between 8.22 and 8.28am and then instantly forgettable between 8.29am and 8.21am the next day.
I raised the soggy bagel to my mouth, but in the place of salty buttery dough I instead heard a ‘krikk’ and felt a sharp pain in my lip. I threw it down. THERE WAS BLOOD ON THE BAGEL.
So my lip had split. Totally. I suppose it was a bit tight, but these days it generally is, but ouchy!
Cue the Flatmate walking in two minutes later to find a slightly wobbly Girl on the ‘Tane with blood on her chin, eating a bagel with a knife and fork.
Still, it woke me up better than a hundred Andrew Castles patronising poor Emma whatserface, so silver linings n’all…
- My lips, pre ‘tane
